We all worry about different things at different stages of our life; sometimes for a test, sometimes for our jobs, financial crisis and sometimes a more serious health issue. Our worries are linked to fear of an unknown future and our perceived lack of ability to cope with it. If we put it in perspective, most of our worries are a “what if” scenario that 9 out of 10 times won’t happen; however the fear in our minds are very real. If you have no worries, no fear of future; then you are one of the select few who don’t have any attachments or one of the few who can completely surrender and trust the higher power, higher plan, Universe, etc. Then, Congratulations! However, this is extremely difficult. For those of us who are not completely free; and those of us who fall into the trap of fear, worry and anxiety; here are few guidelines that can help to deal with our worries:
1) First of all, recognize your worry and accept it. Recognize that we are all human beings and as long as we live in this world (unless we are enlightened beings) we are not free . We have desires, expectations, attachments that create a fear of separation. A fear of separation from our dreams, life styles, family, job, health.
2) Don’t beat yourself up because you’re worrying. Just accept your emotions and focus on your emotions for a while (without clinging to them too much. This will help you better understand the root causes and inner repercussions of your fears and worries. Let’s say you are worried about losing your job. What is the fear behind to make you worry about losing your job? It can be: I won’t be able to provide for my family. There is a financial crisis. I won’t be able to find another job. I’m not qualified enough to find another comparable job or as quickly. Let’s say you’re worried for your health: I’m scared there is an undiagnosed disease. My health might fail anytime. I might die.
3) After you recognize your worry and the root fear underlying it, accept it and make a decision to free yourself from that fear. This is the most important decision that you need to come back again and again when dealing with your worry: Your determination to neutralize the fear. Be careful not to suppress the fear it as it’ll come back sooner or later if you do so. Instead accept it and tackle it.
4) As you move to tackle your worry, ask your self if there is anything that can be done. The best way of dealing with a worry is to come up with an Action Plan to tackle it. If you are worrying for a test (or an interview), make an action plan on how you can best prepare for it. Make a study plan or find resources to help you with the interview tips. If you are worried about losing your job, be proactive. Start building your resume. Check out online resources for jobs or even colleges to gain additional skills. If you are worrying about your health, schedule a check-up. Don’t let the worry eat you, take action.
5) One way of dealing with the worry is to visualize yourself coping with it. First of all, put a smile on, it’s hard to worry with a smile on your face . Then visualize yourself accomplishing the test, the relief after a successful interview, visualize having a completely healthy body, etc. Send Reiki to that image and let that be so. Remember the rule of attraction: Your thoughts are energy and what you think is what you attract. How you think about your life, what it turns out to be for you.
6) Worries are sometimes based on negative beliefs about life that life is tough and requires struggle. This negative belief might create a worry that you need to struggle to earn money, or if you laugh too much, sad things will happen, etc. If you have beliefs that you want to change, I’d recommend EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to remove unwanted belief systems. I got an excellent tip from “Finding your own North Star”. Book suggests, to do something different every time you indulge in the unwanted habit or worry. Every time you find yourself worrying about same thing, you can wear a hat, squat, or say a strange word, etc. Over time you’ll see you get less and less falling into the worry.
7) If the situation that makes you worry comes with prolonged uncertainty, or a life threat for you or a loved one, i.e. a serious disease; I’d recommend breathing techniques and positive affirmations. I think meditation (meditation in the context of single pointed concentration) is more challenging to tackle a state of worry. You may lose concentration easier or fall into negative thoughts when you are meditating. When set free, mind might fall back into worries. Instead it’s better to keep the mind busy with positive affirmations and breathing, so that the mind won’t engage or entrapped with negative thoughts. Don’t take me wrong, I’m a strong supporter of meditation and I have a committed meditation practice, it’s only in those serious life threatening situations that, I believe positive affirmations and breathing work better. Here are some examples:
a. I Trust
Inhale, say “I” and open up yourself to Divine Power, feel as if your whole being is opened up to whole Universe.
Exhale, say “Trust”, suck up that Divine power into your very Being. When exhaling, accept deeply in your consciousness that “You Trust with your whole being”. Accept deeply that “You trust to this System, Universe, God, Creator, your life plan, and the outcome of your situation will be for your utmost good.”
b. I am Light
Inhale, say “I am” and feel your whole being expanding to Universe. Exhale, say “Light”, imagine drawing Reiki in the form of “Light” from the Universe into your very Being. Imagine yourself lighten up with the power and light of Universe.
c. I accept myself the way I am
Feel a deep acceptance of your fears, worries and anxiety, your whole being and even things that was holding you. Inhale say” I accept myself”, exhale say “the way I am”, feeling a deep sense of acceptance sinking in for the way you are.
d. I love myself the way I am
Feel a deep love and acceptance for yourself and accept yourself as a Divine Being
d. I am surrounded with everything I need
Feel a deep trust that you are surrounded with Divine Power and Love and everything else you need to tackle the situation.
e. “I am completely healthy” or be more specific “It’s a benign tumor” etc.
In your mind’s eye, imagine yourself being completely healthy. You can use your breathing, inhaling “I am”, exhaling a deep trust and belief that “completely healthy”. You can send Reiki to this image in your mind.
f. I give up all negative thoughts, I am all positive
Imagine opening yourself up and offering up your negative thoughts with each inhalation to a higher power and exhaling in pure light instead.
8) Praying is powerful to deal with worries. Pray to Higher power, God, Universe. You can ask help from an ascended being, prophet, your spirit guide or a Guru to support you. Imagine that you are being loved, cared and fully supported by this person throughout these troubled times. You can have a picture of this person, or an object to remind you of him/her, you can say a mantra to remind you of him/her. You can simply pray to this person and ask being supported. Just meditate on this person until you feel their deep love and support.
9) When you get too worried, you create scenarios in your mind or a variety of worries. Offer your worries up, without clinging to them too much. Offer them up to your ascended being, prophet, spirit guide or Guru and imagine that they are picking up every bit of your worries. Keep your concentration up in the air above the point between your eye brows and imagine your worries are sucked up to the light by the ascended being, prophet, Guru with each breath (Don’t forget to ask for their permission before you do this and Thank to this person after you release your worries to them).
10) Stop pitying yourself and try to continue with your life. Write down a to-do list, a list of all the things you want to achieve or do once you get out of the situation. Don’t wait until you are out of the woods to start getting to it. This will keep your mind busy.
11) List all the things you’d change in your life, once you’ve gone thru this experience. Write them down immediately and don’t wait until you are out of the woods to bring your list to life.
12) Watch funny movies and try to keep smiling. It’s harder to be negative with a smiling face
13) Do nice gestures to others, this opens your heart and reminds you that you are not alone but connected to everyone else, all humans (you may need to force yourself into this but it pays off).
14) Express your worries by writing. Writing can be very healing.
15) If you feel like you can’t deal with your worries, reach out to talk to your family, friends, therapists and ask help.
16) Remember that “everything happens for a reason”, it might be time for you to work on the root cause. Try to get to the root cause of your problems. Louise Hay’s book- “You can heal yourself” is a good guide for some of the root causes of problems. I suggest you work with a good therapist (especially an EFT or Tapas practitioner who practices these modalities along with Reiki) to make you realize the root causes and release physical, emotional, mental impacts from your life. These sessions can be very healing.
17) Go back and revisit what you’ve learned from this experience and move on.
18) Be thankful to these troubles and try to see them as a blessing. Earth is a laboratory for us to experiment how we can give up our attachments and surrender. It might be hard at first to be thankful for something that puts us into so much trouble but 10 years from now you’ll see why.
May we all reach to a stage where we can live completely worry-free.
Love & Light,
Zeynep “Premdasi” Yilmaz